2-28-10

Today, I took on the challenge of cutting my hair off before it decides to take control over me. I had a handful of my closest friends over to help ease the pain. It was a very emotional day and I would say the reality that I have cancer finally set in as it might have for some of you too. Every time I look in the mirror I see a totally different woman than before. As stupid as it sounds, I always put pride in my hair and looks, and now I feel like that is all out the window.

However, I keep reminding myself of the kind words that were said today. I was able to find the courage to cut my hair because of all of you ladies and those who could not make it today as well. Your strength and friendships made me realize I can do this and make it work for me. I thank you all for being amazing friends and taking on this journey with me. I know it was not easy for all of you to see me upset and facing this challenge. But we got through it and will continue to.


Also I would like to say thank you to all of you out there that have sent thoughtful messages and prayers. I am amazed at the support that has come through. I didn't know that I had that many followers/fans. Thank you and please continue to guide me through this journey.

I love you all!


P.S. All of the scarves are perfect and will help tremendously. And to Adam thank you for the plethora of hoop earring's. My outfits will now be complete. I love you!








My new wig that my sister bought for me!

2-27-10

Well it is 4am and yes I am up. My stomach felt the need to wake me for some quality time in the bathroom...Oh the joy....I also am trying to time taking my medications correctly in the day so I won't be up in the night. I guess I have not gotten it correct yet.

So I told Adam I had to blog about this, but last night I was all excited for movie night. He came home with two good movies, or so we thought. Lets just say the movie "Everbody's Fine", while a good movie with a good cast, was not the comedy we were hoping for. It was more tears for me then laughter...The second movie was not even opened. We read the reviews again and thought maybe not tonight.

Oh well another day tomorrow with family on the way to visit....

2-26-10

While I am sitting here at work and getting through the day, I just had a moment of clarification. I woke up feeling very good and ready to take on the day. Now almost five hours later I feel pretty crappy. I realized my small intake of a piece of banana bread and apple sauce this morning contains those sugar that kill my body. It literally will take me from feeling great to needing to lay down in no time. I didn't think to myself, those food items have sugar in them. I was thinking, I need some fruit and applesauce would be good...oh so wrong. The bad thing is my stomach does not do well with sugar free items or even gluten free items. So how do I win? Saltine crackers I guess. They say I will live on them.

But with that said I am going to make it though the day here and rest tonight. I am looking forward to a low key night with Adam. Maybe we will take in a good chick flick...ha ha...I am sure he will love that.

2-24-10

10:30 pm on Wednesday night and I should be asleep, however deciding to blog instead. Today was a very good day. Made it through the entire day of work with no problems. Not much sleep these days so by 5 pm I was done. It seems energy just leaves my body and tells me to stop. I guess it is a good thing I am trying to listen to my body. I am praying for some good sleep tonight and another decent day as well. It seems this weekend should be a good one with family and friend's stopping by, however it puts me one step closer to Monday and chemo. With positivity in mind, it is one step closer to the finish line.(a dear friend reminded me of that recently).

2-23-10

Today is only Tuesday and feeling a little defeated. I had every intention to make it a full day at work and was feeling great. However with too much medicine in my system, probably a little dehydration, and major constipation I ended up with severe pain/cramping, a dead sweat, and almost passed out at work. Luckily I have great co-workers that helped and got me back on my feet. I am feeling ok now but I am sure I will be visiting the facilities a lot today.. Sorry for the graphic details and information but I needed to vent and that is what this blog is for..right...Tomorrow is a new day....

2-20-10

It's 11:21 PM Saturday night and oh how late it feels. Although the day has just dragged, I was able to get up and out to the office for a few hours this morning which was nice. However after working and running a few quick errands, I was done energy wise. But with good company, and chick flick movies, I made it through.
I will say the body aches are everywhere now which makes me very uncomfortable and anxious. I really need to try and do some light walking, however my breathing does not seem to agree with that.

Let's pray for a better day tomorrow with more energy and activity.

2-19-10

Friday night and I should be out having dinner or maybe even drinks with friends, however at home and resting. Oh well soon enough I will be out and about again. Today was a pretty similar day to the others. Lack of energy, headaches, and body aches. Hot baths do seem to help with the body aches.

Tomorrow I am making Adam get out and have night away with his band. He will be doing sound for them as he usually does, but has had to put them on the back burner for me recently. His parents have been gracious enough to volunteer to take care of me over night and help him move over the weekend. Luckily I get out of having to help move...yes... I plan to due some work at the office tomorrow, praying for another good day.

2-18-10

Two days at work and very tired. Who knew that I would barely be able to keep my eyes open at my desk. I am good to get in 6 hours a day, then I am out. I basically come home and sleep. So far only a few headaches and body aches. The worst thus far is the lack of energy...I feel 80...ha ha although I pretty sure my 88 year old Grandpa has more energy than I have now.

Good news, the Lymph Node biopsy came back negative, so no cancer has spread.....Woooooa..I am so thankful to hear this news.
So tomorrow a new day and hopefully another decent one. I want to thank all of my friends/family/and co-workers for all of the support thus far. I am very humbled to see all of you go out of your way for myself, Adam, and my family. Thank you and please know a good deed never goes unnoticed. Everyone should sign-up for our Komen Race for the Cure team, Rock Pink for Jess, at http://race.komenindy.org/goto/RockPinkforJess If you cant make it out for the actual event, you can donate, or participate as a “Sleep In for the Cure”.

2-16-10

One round of Chemo done.....wooooaaa....and it wasn't that bad. The hardest part was having the nurse touching the port and area around the port, due to it not healing all the way. Moving forward it will not be that bad. Chemo itself was very painless, however time consuming. Each time I have chemo they have to check all of my vitals and draw blood. If all comes back ok, then we are good to proceed with chemo. Everyone at the Infusion Center were very kind and gracious and provided lots of goody snacks to munch on for me and my guests..And yes the rumor of Popsicles is true, this helps keep the mouth cold which is good chemistry for one of the drugs.

So everyone take a sigh of relief, as I have, Chemo was ok. Of course the road ahead will be rough but I am ready, well as much as I can be. I have tons of directions to follow and many meds to take to help with all of the side effects. Heather took amazing notes and passed along all the info to Adam . I am good hands and glad I am at home and doing ok.

2-15-10 Update

Well it is 8:30 pm Monday night and let's just say I am glad to be at home resting. A very long day at the hospital with many tests and follow up from doctors. Thus far all tests/scans came back clean, however there was a small biopsy done today on an abnormal lymph node. The outcome of the biopsy only determines whether or not they remove the lymph nodes at surgery after chemo.

Chemo starts tomorrow as the doctors did not want to waste any time. We have a chemo class tomorrow at 9 am and then chemo at 10:30am. They did say it would take most of the day and be another long day.

Although I am a bit nervous, I am staying positive and looking forward to starting my healing process, and cant wait to get back to work and my normal life!

Now a word from Adam....
My weird things from the day at the hospital: How in the world do hospitals operate using pagers, yet no cell phones work? Also, who would ever guess that during chemo the doctors actually tell you that you can't eat salad, fruit, or vegetables (uncooked)? All you ever hear is how important fruits and vegetables are, but apparently they are also a germ concern during chemo. I'm nervous for Jess to begin the chemo because for me it makes what seems surreal a reality. I do however have faith that she will prevail in 5 months, and look forward to that celebration!

2-15-10

The waiting game at the hospital, oh what fun. One test down(MRI) and two more to go today, bone scan and ultra sound. At 12 we meet with the doctors to go over all tests this past week to clarify the treatments moving forward.

On a brighter side, I received a wonderful gift from Adam yesterday, a Netbook computer. Basically a smaller version computer I can take everywhere to get on email and internet. I love it and of course it is pink... It is already coming in handy to pass time and stay up to date on things.

2-13-10 Valentine's Eve

While it is very late and I am on much needed pain medicine, I wanted to say what a good day today has been. I was blessed with friends and family visitors and tons of great food. I will say I actually had an appetite for the first time this week and enjoyed all the great food.

Thank you to those who stopped by and all the left overs Adam and I can enjoy this week. Off to bed for some much needed rest.

2-12-10 Surgery

Surgery went well...Yeah!!! At home now and resting...In a little pain but still have all the meds in my system to numb the pain. They did give me pain medicine that I will be taking here shortly and heading to bed. The nurses and doctors were wonderful and took very good care of me.

My doctor(Dr. Rager) who did the procedure, gave us some good news today. The CT Scan done on Tuesday to check my Abdomen, Pelvis, and Lungs came back clear. So one down and a few more to go.

Thank you to all who emailed or text today. The support was needed and got me through everything OK.

2-11-10

The night before my first surgery. Tomorrow I will have a Port A Cath put in for chemotherapy. They gave me the option to have it put in above my right breast or under my right arm pit. I have chosen to do my right arm pit to avoid a visible scar.

I will say I am little nervous about the procedure. Although it is minor and will only take an hour, I don't think it will be fun...lol...To get my mind off of things today, Heather and I went shopping to find myself a cute sweat outfit to wear. So to say the least, I am trying to be cute at all times tomorrow....

Original Email 2-8-10

Family and friends,
Most of you already know about the battle that I am beginning with breast cancer. I will try to update all of you as I learn more about my specific battle, and for now think that email might be the best way to give updates. I am looking into other options that would be similar to a blog, and will let you all know what I find.

To help catch some of you up, I will give you some background. Last week, I met with my doctor to review the results of a biopsy that was performed two weeks ago on a lump in my breast. Unfortunately, I was informed that I have breast cancer, but at that time I had very little detail. I had an appointment today to meet with my surgical and oncology teams, and found out more detail.

With the knowledge of the current tests, I have stage 2 triple-negative invasive ductal carcinoma. This week, I will be undergoing many tests to see if the cancer has spread to any other areas. On Friday, I will have a small surgery for a port to be installed, which will be utilized for chemotherapy. This coming Monday, I will meet with my doctors again to go over the details of the tests that are run this week.

For know the plan is chemo for 16 weeks with 8 treatments. The exact form of surgery after the chemo is still to be determined. The surgery will vary depending on the genetics tests that they are running over the next few weeks.

I'll let you know more, as I find out.

Love you all,
Jess

P.S. Adam will be helping me keep you all up-to-date with these emails. He's translating "Jessica talk" into emails. If you find errors with grammar, please make sure to give him a hard time!