12-26-10

This Christmas for me was about reflection and growth. I was reminded of a few things that I would like to share with all of you. First people i.e. my family..ha ha...love this blog and make it a point to read it often. So I do need to keep it updated for those who follow and for those out there who might need some comfort in their journey as I did. Secondly I was reminded that I am still a survivor and how good it feels to hear that. My cousins gave me a small sterling silver necklace that says survivor on it. Such a small gift that means so much to me. And to top it off my cousin told me how proud she was of me. What a great moment that still brings tears to my eyes. I am not sure I will ever take the necklace off..:) The most important thing I was reminded of lately is the meaning of a gift. It was talked a lot about at church today and Adam and I had previously talked about it. Although I love to give gifts and of course receive them I honestly feel honored that I am able to say my greatest gift I have been given is my health and another year and many more to celebrate my health. I told Adam that If I am healthy and I have him that is all I need this year as a gift.

Happy Holidays to all of you that follow this and may this new year bring the meaning of a gift as this last year did for me.

12-16-10

As most of you said recovering from a skin graft procedure is a process and I am definitely experiencing that. My stomach is very swollen and uncomfortable. Luckily i am good at hiding excess skin/fat with the right clothes..ha ha. I do hope this goes down soon and everything heals as it is suppose to.

12-14-10

My follow up appointment with the doctor went well today. He removed the gaze and stitches and was very happy with the results. For the next 3 weeks I have to put a daily dressing and medicine on the area but that should not effect the appearance in my clothes. Without going into too much detail, let's just say what he did is amazing. It will take time to get to the actual size it needs to be but by mid January I should be all healed up.

12-12-10

I can say without a doubt that this surgery has required a lot more recovery than I thought it would. I am doing better today than yesterday however still having pain and very swollen in the stomach. I think the combination of the anesthesia and actual skin graph has caused the majority of the swelling. Between that and and the stitches and gauze on my chest, I am not able to wear normal clothes..ha ha..Literally right now I can wear sweats and baggy shirts. I am hoping this will all be better by Tuesday. That is when I go back for my check up.

12-11-10

The surgery was successful however I am in a lot more pain than I expected to be. My actual chest does not hurt at all probably because I don't have nerve endings or feeling up there. I just have to be cautious not to mess up the stitches and gauze that stick out. Wearing baggy shirts does help. What really hurts is my lower stomach where they took the skin graph from. I am not sure how much skin was taken or if stitches were involved however it really does hurt. If I am laying it is minimal pain but standing up and walking around causes it to ache. Hopefully this will decrease in the next two days. On a side note my doctor was not able to use the extra skin on my chest for the actual skin graph. He said it was too close to the center and healing of this surgery. He did say he could remove it once I am healed and this could be done in his office. I am not so sure how that would work..ha ha

Thanks again for all the phone calls and emails to check up on me:)

12-10-10

Adam and I are checked in at the hospital and waiting:) Feeling good with high spirits just very thirsty..ha ha...Adam will update everyone here in a few hours.

11-30-10

I learned today that I have to have extra skin taken for the next surgery. Luckily he gave me the option of taking it from the groin area or the lower stomach(C-section) area. I asked "well which one is less painful" and he said stomach. So that is what we will be going with:)

11-17-10

Today was a rough day. My dizziness/vertigo was intense and has been for the last few weeks. Luckily my doctor believes it is related to my ears or sinus's and not the cancer. I have an ENT appointment in December and look forward to an answer and possible plan to ease the discomfort.

11-13-10

Today I received my information for the next step in my reconstructive surgery. I will go in for an outpatient procedure on Friday December 10th. I should only need a few days rest and be back to work right away. Basically they will be doing a skin graph to construct the last area of my chest. I am not exactly sure how this all works but I know it is common procedure and that has great results. This should be the last actual surgery I will need :)

11-8-10

Good News today my bone scan was normal! I am so excited about the news and can't stop smiling!

11-1-10

I can't believe it is already November and I am 2 weeks post surgery. Recovery is still going well and my two week check up is tomorrow. I am expecting a good report from the surgeon.

Today I did have a unexpected check up with my oncologists. I have been experiencing extreme pain in my neck and back for the last few months. I always have seem to manage to deal with the pain but finally it got the best of me. My doctor is almost positive it is related to muscle pain but does want to rule out anything with my bones so he ordered a bone scan for next Monday. Once that has cleared he will probably send me to physical therapy. I think this will ultimately be the best option moving forward.

I will keep you all posted....

10-23-10

Almost a week has gone by and I am moving right along.
Still feeling good while focusing on recovery. The pain is still minimal but I am experiencing a little numbness in my arms. I have a feeling this will fade as I regain full range of motion and get back to working out. Hopefully this all happens soon.

10-21-10

4 days in and still doing good. Today I can officially shower so I am excited about that. I have also been able to look at the "results" and so far so good. He did leave a little extra skin for the next surgery to make it easier. But I am looking natural and as normal as can be...Oh and still no pain meds...yay!

10-19-10

Day 2 and doing much better. I am moving around fairly easily and the pain is not too bad. I have chosen not to take pain medicine unless it gets out of control. Without the pain medicine my digestion system should be much better this time...ha ha....The only major complaint is sleeping. I just couldn't get comfortable last night so was not able to sleep that well. However I can rest today.

Thank you for all of the support through this surgery. I have the best family/friends a girl could ask for!

10/18/2010 - Post Surgery

Hi everyone! It's Adam again. We just spoke with the doctor, and everything went really well. Jess is in the recovery room now, and we will get to go back there once she has woken up more. Supposedly, this is going to be much less pain than last time, so we'll keep our fingers crossed.

Looks like Jess will get to watch Oprah after all!

10/18/2010 - Before Surgery

Hi everyone! It's Adam, not Jess today. Jess is all checked in at the hospital, and back in the pre-op room with Sue. Her dad and I will join them shortly after they get her IV connected. Jess is doing well this morning, and actually got some rest last night (I was worried she wouldn't).

She's all connected up now, and still has a smile on her face. Jess would like to be out of here for Oprah this afternoon, so we'll see if that happens!

I'll update everyone later today.

10-12-10

My 3 month check up with Dr. Rager and Dr Schneider went amazing yesterday. They both said my recovery is going great. No detailed testing was required as I am not showing any signs that would concern them. The up and down that I have been feeling is normal. And of course my energy level/fatigue should come back after I have completed all of my surgeries.

I am so excited for this great news and am looking forward to getting next Monday behind me.

10-3-10

I can't believe it is already October. Literally 3 weeks from now I will be in and out of surgery and on my way to the final stages of recovery. I will say I am ready for it all to be over. And very
ready to have my 3 month check up with my Breast Surgeon/Oncologist. They will reassure me that my post chemo symptoms are normal and to be expected. My chemo nurse did say the other day it could take as long as a year to feel back to some form of normal....

9-26-10

Today was my first survivor event. My friend Andrea and I attended the Susan G Komen annual survivor luncheon. It was great to see all the women there and celebrate all of our journeys. Out of the 800 or so women there I bet I was one of the youngest survivors. I guess a bit of a bitter sweet thing.

Thanks again Andrea for inviting me. It is always good to share stories and have that feeling of familiarity.

9-19-10

Well I am finally at that point where I am ready to read all the books/info I received regarding Breast Cancer. I have a lot of questions regarding my body and my healing now and they seem to have some of the answers. Of course I will do more research and seek out other options, but for now this is a start. One thing I did find out is that fatigue afterwords is normal. An average of 6 months of chemo equals 6 months of fatigue. So that explains why I feel so depleted these days. I have been fighting a cold or some kind of a bug for the last few weeks. However I have been exhausted as long as I can remember. It is all making sense now.

I think I am safe to say the chemo is finally all out of my body. However it took a lot longer than I thought and many permanent changes to my body. Although it was worth it and worked!

9-12-10

Just wanted to blog and say things are going well with getting back to some form of normalcy. Although I find myself very busy these days and not a lot of free time for things like wedding planning. I am grateful to be happy, healthy, blessed with a great job, and of course a future ahead.

Thanks to all who sent Engagement Cards and to Liz for the nice little party/celebration last night. Adam and I definitely enjoyed ourselves.

9-2-10

So the most exciting news yet.....Adam and I are Engaged!!!!Yes that is right he popped the question on Tuesday and of course I said yes. Although I had no idea that night when I came home to dinner and wine, that dessert would be the ring. He was so cool, calm, and collected I would have never guessed. I can definitely say I am still in shock. But most importantly blessed to have a future I have always dreamed of with the man of my dreams. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

8-29-10

So Adam and I worked getting all of my old stuff that was here over to the storage unit today. Luckily it didn't take too long and now we have a lot more room in the office area. We were also fortunate enough to attend a very nice house warming party last night and hang out with friends. We had such a blast and it definitely made us think even more about buying a house/condo someday.

It seems so quick to say tomorrow is almost here, however I hope everyone enjoyed the weekend.

8-24-10

Just a quick comment to say feeling great today with tons of energy. This week has been positive, focused, and feeling very productive. I love weeks like this!

8-22-10

I have officially completed 2 full weeks back to work. I must say it has been very hard to adjust back to working full days, late hours, and trying stay on top of personal errands and house hold chores. It is crazy how chemo really does change a person's body,energy level, and mental state. My father recently reminded me how well I have done adjusting back to normal life. It is very comforting to hear that knowing some days I still feel like that girl who was down for the count. Adam of course has also been a saint through all of this and especially the last 2 weeks. He has gone out of his way to help in anyway he can and even went shopping for work clothes with me this weekend. He definitely deserves the boyfriend of the year award.

Thank you to all of my friends, family, and co-workers who have helped me adjust back to normal life again. I know it isn't always easy to listen to someone vent one day, cry another, and then laugh at the end of the week. But you all are great and I feel blessed to have you all in my life.

8-18-10

Today I tried yoga for the first time since my surgery. Although I missed yoga like crazy I am not so sure my body is ready for yoga. If I didn't have these expanders I would not worry so much however all the use of my upper body could cause the expanders to shift or even worse tear. I do have a doctors appointment in a few weeks so I will get his opinion then. For now I might just have to stick with the pre-core.

But I do want to say that I had such a warm welcome back from The Yoga Center in Broad Ripple. Again I can't say enough wonderful things about that place and the instructors....love it.....

8-14-10

Saturday morning and I wish we were off to breakfast and had a relaxing day planned. But this whole weekend will be spent moving my studio apartment into my storage unit. We were there last night for about 3 hours packing everything up. I must say we definitely were exhausted from work and then packing. Although I thought I would be very sore today however I am not too bad. I will just be glad when it is all done. So will Adam since he is doing most of the hard work.

8-12-10

So this week is almost over and wow has it been long. Who knew I would be so exhausted my first week back. But I am glad to be back and soon enough I will be in a normal routine. I will say my emotions have been everywhere this week. However that is to be expected. I finally met a cancer survivor/ co-worker (Jennifer) who I met via email at the beginning of my journey. It was so amazing to meet her in person and relate on so many levels. I am also attending my first survivors benefit in September with another survivor Andrea. I am so excited for this and know it will be an inspiring day.

Hope the weekend treats everyone well.

8-10-10

First day back at work yesterday was great. Of course I was very exhausted by the end of the day however I had such a warm welcome back. My co-workers had decorated my cubicle with tons of letters and inspirational quotes. It definitely brought a smile to my face and made me love them even more.

I will say I am so sore from my doctors appointment yesterday. I believe it was my last injection into the expanders as I am happy with the size as of now. I actually could have them a bit smaller but I think they work with my body shape. I just hope this pain subsides soon.

8-8-10

Well back to work tomorrow...I am healing well and I have been given the ok to return to work. I must say I have missed everyone terribly and can't wait to catch up with them all. I do have another injection tomorrow early morning so I am sure I will be sore for my first day back. But that is just fine. It is one step closer to being done with these expanders.

8-3-10

As I am sitting here watching Oprah, and yes that helps me heal...ha ha...I guess you could say I had a "light bulb" moment. The show today is about grief and losing a loved one. One of the guest said, it is not about the dates...the date someone died..the birthday...and so on. It is about the memories and when they choose to surface. And it occurred to me that makes sense. I always seem ok on those days relating to my mother but other days might be a bit harder. But today I know my strength and fight through all of this is because of her. So I love you Mom and thank you for guiding me to my cancer free diagnoses.

8-3-10

My doctor appointment went well today. It always is a bit painful when they do the injections however I guess you just get use to it. I did tell the doctor that I might not want to go much bigger. The look on his face was a bit funny. I guess maybe he is use to patients going as big as they can. Unfortunately I might have to go a bit bigger than I would like to fill the skin that is still left. Oh well I guess I won't complain too much about that....ha ha

8-2-10

So exhausted...I had trouble sleeping last night so I feel pretty out of it today. Today will be a day of resting...Tomorrow I have another appointment with surgeon for expander injection.

7-31-10

Just a quick update to say the weekend has been great. Had a nice dinner with Adam last night and tonight we will be visiting with friends. I am still not sleeping great at night even with medication from the doctor. So basically everyday I am tired. Oh well hopefully that will start to turn around. I am still in some pain most days but the Ibuprofen seems to help a bit.

7-28-10

Feeling tired and kinda blah....I didn't sleep very well and I can tell it took a toll on me today. I also tried wearing a sports bra today. It was a bit uncomfortable however I think in the long run it will help.

Again thank you to all my friend's who have brought food over. It has helped Adam and I out tremendously. I said last night, we could get use to others cooking for us....ha ha

7-27-10

My doctor appointment went well today. He seems pleased with how my recovery is going. I will say the injections today were a bit more painful than last time. The way I describe how these expanders feel is like rubber bands on braces. Stretchy however painful if you move too much. He did say this is normal and will eventually loosen up. He actually suggested wearing sports bras for comfort. So I will be purchasing some to see if that works.

7-26-10

I guess the weekend wore me out a lot more than I thought. I took about a 3 hour nap today. Crazy, however my body must of needed it.

Tomorrow I am off to the Dr. for another injection into the expanders. I will blog with an update.

Until tomorrow.......

7-25-10

This weekend was a great success. Liz's wedding was a blast and everyone had an amazing time. I was able to hold up all weekend and enjoy the festivities. I am kinda sad it's over but happy for the newly married couple.

Hope the weekend treated everyone as well as it did me.

7-22-10

Feeling well today just very tired. Everyday I gain more mobility and range of motion. I am pretty self sufficient and try to do most things on my own, however I do ask for help when I need it.
I am just so thankful I am doing as well as I am at this point. This weekend is my best friend's wedding and being in the wedding I was not sure how I would be coping at week 2. Luckily I have been blessed and will be able to enjoy the weekend and celebrate.

7-20-10

Another great Doctor visit today with my Plastic Surgeon. He took out the other drains so I am drain free. YAY! They also put in a small dose(60 cc) into my expanders and will continue to do this for about 4 weeks. Once they have expanded to the size I want then we will wait 2 months to let everything heal. At that point a surgery will take place to take out the temporary expanders and put in the actual implants. Another 2 month healing process will be needed and the last step is the nipple reconstruction.

So all in all hopefully I will be all done by Christmas and before the new year.

7-19-10

My doctor's officially confirmed today I am 100% Cancer Free. They could not be happier with the treatment process and how my body responded. The next step is to check in every 3 months and closely monitor my progress.

As far as my surgery, I am healing well. I was also able to get 2 of the 4 drains out today and are hopeful the other 2 will be coming out tomorrow. I am very realistic that this recovery process will take time and I still have my reconstruction surgery ahead of me. However I am blessed to be here, cancer free, and able to call myself a survivor.

7-19-10

Heading to the doctor shortly. Will blog later with an update....

7-18-10

Yesterday was my best day yet. Adam and I were able to get out to do a few errands,grab lunch, and a few movies to watch for the evening. Of course by the time we got home I was so exhausted I only made it through one of the movies...oh well....

I also tried to sleep in the bed last night in comparison to our theatre chairs. That didn't work so well. By about 5 am I was back out on the chair and feeling good. Maybe once I get the drains out and have more mobility I can tackle sleeping in our bed again.

7-16-10

I can't say thank you enough for all the emails and texts regarding my blog yesterday.

I am happy to report things are getting better however just trying to mentally manage the pain...if that makes sense...


Also thank you for all of my flowers, gifts, and cards. And of course help from Heather, Adam, and William. I know It hasn't been easy, but I couldn't do it without you guys.

7-15-10

So yesterday was such a wonderful/happy day and now I am having the worst day ever. Because of pain medicine I now have severe constipation. I also made the mistake of trying to overdue it in the bathroom last night and now I am paying the cost. We are trying all things suggested by the nurse however i am struggling to bare the pain.

I pray for tomorrow to be a better day and pain free.

7-14-10

I WAS GIVEN THE BEST NEWS EVER TODAY....I AM CANCER FREE!! My final report of the lymph node biopsy came back clear and they found no residual cancerous cells in my left breast what so ever. So in my terms Cancer Free....Hell Yeah! I must say!!!!

I got back to the Doctor on Monday for update on my current surgery recovery.

7-13-10

Just woke up from a nap feeling very groggy and sore. It seems if I sit awhile in my chair I do get sore and stiff and need time for my exercises. The PT exercises are very challenging and do stretch my mobility and range of motion.. It is surprising how each day gets better and better.

Today was especially good because Heather and I picked up my surgical bra. It basically holds everything in place and has pockets for my drains. I am much more comfortable in this bra than before. Although it is not the hottest looking thing...ha ha

7-12-10

First blog since surgery and it has taken me forever to complete it. I am either usually passed out from the pain medicine or trying to work on therapy exercises. However I have great help between my sister during the day and Adam at night.

I will say each day I gain more movement and better mobility . I can do more things on my own as simple as using the restroom and pulling my pants up...ha ha...crazy but very true.

Now since this is my blog and I am able to be honest I do want to share my true journey through this time. This surgery by far was the hardest thing I have been through and the worst pain. As I said before each day gets better but this recovery is no joke.


On a lighter side I do want to say thank you to all of those who have emailed, sent letters, gifts, and even food. I appreicate it all and and is very helpful to my family and I right now.

7-10-10 Post Surgery

The update from Adam at the IU Medical Hospital:
So yesterday was quite a long day of waiting, but it ended with some great news that the cancer had not spread to the lymph nodes, and that the doctors couldn't feel the tumor! The doctors said everything went well in surgery.

She finally landed in a room late yesterday, and was pretty happy with all of the different drugs that she was on at the time. We thought that she would then get plenty of sleep last night, but unfortunately that was not the case. For those of you that know Jess really well, you know that she doesn't like pain medicine, and that proved to be the case all night. They tried several all throughout the night, and are still trying to find something that works well for her. So, she is pretty tired because she hasn't been able to sleep through the pain.

Her spirits are high though, and she is very very happy that she is done with the surgery, and the results that the doctors told her.

We will more than likely be here tonight, and possibly tomorrow night as well. We should find out for sure when her surgeon gets here later today.

For today, we probably wont be able to accept any visitors because she needs to get some rest, but we'll let you all know if things change.

That's all for now!

7-7-10

Feeling much better today and in control of my emotions. Looking forward to dinner with Adam and a glass of wine. Might be the last glass I have for a few weeks....

7-6-10

Who knew I would be this emotional before surgery. I don't think I have cried this much in months. Oh well I guess I do have a lot on my mind with surgery being Friday. I am doing my best to stay busy and stress free. But we all know me and that is nearly impossible to do.



Just another update on the surgery for Friday:
Option #1 Tissue Expansion: After breast is removed, a tissue expander(basically an implant with nothing in it) is placed under the chest muscle. Over the months saline is injected little by little through a port. AS the expander fills up, the skin and Muscle in the chest stretch out to create a pocket. Another procedure would be done to remove the expander and put the actual implant in. This would all happen over a 6 month time frame. Surgery will take around 4 hours and a 3 week recovery time.

7-5-10

Well it's about 4:30 am Monday morning and I can't sleep so I decided to blog. Lately I have been awful about blogging so I feel the need to step it up.
This entire weekend was a blast. We spent Friday night at the Indiana's Game with Liz/Jose and her nephew Caleb. The best part of the night by far,the fireworks. It was such a great experience to watch Caleb in complete happiness as the show started. IT truly was a priceless moment for me.

On Saturday I did my amazing yoga class and then Adan and I had a nice lunch at the
Blue Moon Cafe, new place in Carmel, excellent food and service.

After an afternoon of errands we headed to dinner with some of Adam's friends. Good times, good food, and great company.

Then it was Sunday and we were off to see my family in Ohio. It was a short stay due to my lack of energy these days, but I was very glad to see everyone and catch up. They said they are all avid readers of the blog, so this blog at 4am is to u all.....ha ha

OK off to try and sleep and ease my mind....

7-2-10

It's Friday and I am looking forward to the Holiday Weekend....Feeling good! Spirits staying High!

6-27-10

I realized today that I haven't blogged since Tuesday. Not much has changed though, which is good.

My itching is gone..thank goodness....my hair is growing back...yay...my only slight issue these days is my energy level, however I do the best with what energy I have. I have found that an hour nap goes a long way.

So no complaints here!

6-22-10

Today i was reassured with some great news. I received my tests results back from my MRI, EKG, and blood work. The EKG and blood work are standard pre-surgery tests however the MRI is not. Because of my dizzy spells/vertigo that has been occurring my doctor ordered an MRI of my head. And today I can take a sigh of relief knowing that my head is clear, well clear of cancer that is...ha ha..

6-21-10

The weekend was great. DMB concert was amazing and so glad the weather held out. I am still tired from all the activities but did rest most of yesterday.

6-19-10

What a great weekend so far. Adam and I had a few cocktails last night with dinner and really enjoyed ourselves. Tonight I am headed to Dave Matthews Concert with Adam and a few of my friends. I am so excited to get out and enjoy some fun.

Feeling good as well just tired as usual. Still doing yoga classes and that seems to help with my energy. The itching I believe is leaving my body...yay..At least I hope so.

Have a great weekend!

6-16-10

Mid way through another week and doing good. The itching has finally started to decrease. I am taking the Zyrtec everyday so maybe that has worked. The only down fall is that I get extremely tired from the Zyrtec. I try to take it about 4 or 5 so it doesn't mess up my days too bad.

I am looking forward to gaining more energy as the weeks go on. That is my goal!

6-13-10

Well another weekend down and feeling ok. I attended a couple's shower Saturday night and really enjoyed myself. I was so glad to see all of my friends, however I wasn't able to stay long with my lack of energy.My assumption is this week I will slowly start to feel better. At least that is what I am telling myself. I will say my itching has gotten better. I try to not let the mental part get to me as much so I think that helps....

6-11-10

So just got word that my reconstructive surgeon tore his bicep and had to have surgery himself this week. What that means for me is that my surgery has been pushed back to July 9th. It is a little frustrating to have to wait a bit longer, however my surgeon is one of the best so I am ok with waiting for him.

I hope everyone is having a good Friday and staying cool in this heat.

6-10-10

I am not sure why this itching will not go away, however today I tried to think to myself it could be much worse. I know there are other side effects that were awful but have passed. I believe this too will pass.

Today I started taking Zyrtec. My Dr. wanted me to try this allergy pill to see if it will allow the itching to subside. I am staying positive it will. Until then I will deal and make the best of these few weeks.

6-8-10

So my anxiety is getting the best of me along with these crazy side effects. I have been exhausted everyday, having trouble sleeping, and the itching is back. Again I must say the itching is by far the worst thing I have ever experienced. It has literally brought me to tears these last couple of days.

My Dr. said all of this is normal(expect the itching) and to be expected after the chemo treatments I went through. I just assumed I would be feeling better by now, however I have to realize the chemo is still not out of my body.

I look forward to better days and my body being back to normal.

6-6-10

Last night was exactly what I needed. I had such a great time hanging out with friends, relaxing, and escaping reality for a few hours. I must stay I am still lacking the energy I would like today, however overall the weekend was great.

6-5-10

I am still struggling with lack of energy post chemo. The last 3 days have been pretty rough and exhausting. I did make it through the week at work which was great. Today is a little better but the heat does not help. I try to stay out of it as much as I can. Looking forward to dinner tonight with some friends.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

6-2-10

I can't believe it is already June and I am at the home stretch of this journey. I remember the day I was diagnosed and thinking there is no way I can get through chemo. 16 weeks of hell was my thought and what would that do to my body? However I made it and it didn't kill me. It actually made me stronger mentally. I am a totally different person now then I was 5 months ago.

Today I realized I can continue to be worried about my surgery and the future of this disease or I can choose to see this journey ending with a new chapter in sight. I have the next few weeks to enjoy and I don't want that to be clouded with negativity. I have to remember I am in control of my mind, body, and spirit and cancer will not take that away from me.

5-31-10

So the weekend trip to Kentucky was a success, however I slightly over did it. With the combination of heat and lack of sleep Sunday was a pretty bad day for me. Luckily everyone was good with chillin out and staying cool.

One thing the weekend reinforced was how much I miss Adam's parents being close. But I know I can't be selfish and Kentucky seems to be fitting them just right. They have a gorgeous new home and a great Lake to boat on.



Thanks again Susan and Timm for having me down for the weekend. It was a lot of fun.

5-27-10

Today was a much better day. I was able to get out of bed and even run a few errands. I felt pretty positive today and hope to stay that way.
Adam and I are headed to Kentucky to see his parents this weekend. It will be nice to get away and enjoy some R&R.

5-26-10

I must say my last week of chemo is sure giving me a run for my money. To be brutally honest, I feel like shit today. I truly don't know how other patients do this for years. I don't think my body could take it. I am ready to be chemo free.

My focus now is my surgery. I have a scheduled date of June 30th. I should only be in the hospital 1 maybe 2 nights and out of work 3 weeks. My goal is to recover as quick as possible and stay positive. I will know more during surgery exactly what my Cancer has been doing.

Until then I have time to recover and enjoy some summer weather.

P.S. Thanks Adam for the wonderful flowers you brought home yesterday. I love them and it was a nice chemo farewell present.

5-24-10

Last Chemo treatment almost done. I am so thankful to close this chapter and move forward. My Dr. said the next step would be to again test the lymph nodes during surgery to see if the cancer has spread. He will also be able to measure the original mass. The goal is for the mass to be less then 2cm. If the cancer has not spread and is much smaller in size, the goal is to just do follow up check ups and monitor closely. However if this is not the case, he would like me to consider another treatment with a different drug. He is currently doing a clinical trial on this drug and swears by it. He did say it was similar to chemo in how it is administered plus side effects that do occur.

My thought is if we all stay positive and pray, the cancer will be gone! I am ready to move on with my life and enjoy other aspects.

5-23-10

Another weekend down and so glad I was able to get out. Saturday night was my friend Liz's bachelorette party and it was a blast. I definitely needed a night out with the girls to relax and have fun. My body held up and allowed me to have enough energy to get through most of the night.

I will update blog tomorrow as it is my last chemo treatment....yay!

5-20-10

Did another hot yoga class last night and it was great. I do have to say it was a bit harder this time but I managed to get through the class. I was hoping that the exercise would help with my sleep but I was wrong. I am extremely tired today and very worn down. I definitely will need to get some sleep tonight.

5-17-10

I am in such a better place today all because of a Yoga class. I was able to get through a 60 minute class in a steaming(90 degree) room and hold my own pretty well. It felt great to challenge myself physically and mentally after a rough week of chemo. I look forward to more classes and challenges. I definitely want to thank The Yoga Center in Broad Ripple for a wonderful experience and the IWIN foundation for assisting with the cost.


P.S Thank you to my wonderful boyfriend, Adam. I appreciate you taking the time to organize my medical paperwork/bills. I can't tell you how much I needed the help, especially when my energy level was low. Love you!

5-15-10

Today was a good day and Adam and I were able to enjoy dinner and a movie. I was glad to be able to get out and enjoy some fresh air with a cool breeze.

I do need to vent about one new side effect that has come from the Taxol. I have these uncontrollable itching fits. I know it sounds crazy but let me tell you it is awful. My skin will just itch all over for no apparent reason. Once I start to itch a spot then the urge travels to my whole body and I can't sit still. My Dr. believes it could be an allergic reaction from the Taxol but he is not sure for certain. They gave me two options for medicine, however both make me drowsy.Therefore making it hard to take during the day or before work.

I must say I hope this side effect goes away as it ranks the top of the charts as one of the worse.

5-14-10

It's Friday and I am finally regaining some energy back. Usually by this point in the week I have much more fuel. It's safe to say the chemo is getting to me and trying to take over. Of course I refuse to let it take over and I will make the best of the weekend, energy or not.

5-12-10

Today is the worst day of the week for me, however I am hanging in there. Luckily there are no new unexpected side effects that have popped up this week. I am looking forward to this day passing and tomorrow bringing less pain and better spirits. I might even be able to get out of bed....ha ha....

5-10-10

#7 down and 1 to go and what a long day. Everything seemed to run over again so it was another 7 hour day. Luckily I had my friend Andrea to keep me company and entertained. Thanks so much for going girl!

I did meet with both my Breast Surgeon and Oncologist today. We had a discussion regarding the surgery, however the date is still not set in stone. I anticipate this happening in the next few weeks. Dr. Rager(Breast Surgeon) did say that during the surgery she will biopsy the lymph nodes with the pathologist right there to quickly determine results. If the lymph nodes show signs of cancerous cells, then they will be removed right away. Some of the side effects to doing this sound not so appealing but she said only 1 in 4 women usually develop these(For example permanent swelling in arm). She did reassure me there is therapy that is done to prevent these side effects from forming.

My Oncologist also informed me that there will be further testing after surgery to determine how my cancer is doing. My question to him was "Could this cancer be spreading in my body during chemo" His answer was for me to try and focus in the now and get through chemo, however the cancer could come back in two weeks, two years, or even a decade. With my body responding to chemo so well he feels very confident with my results moving forward.

All in all today went well but did have a small reaction to the Taxol again. It seems I am allergic to the mix that goes along with the Taxol. Nothing to worry about as I only have one treatment left...YAY!

5-9-10

I am happy to say this weekend was great. I was able to enjoy dinner with Adam, a wedding with all of my college friends, then church today and an Indians ball game. It was their game for Breast Cancer Awareness so all of the players wore pink jerseys.

Tomorrow is my 7th chemo treatment. One step further to being done. I know the end is in sight, however I wish it was here. I am definitely ready for the chemo to be over and out of my body. The side effects are getting to me and ridding me of any patience I have left. Although at times this process has gone quick, I feel I am at the last stretch of the race with no juice left.
I try everyday to stay positive but there have been many times lately where my negative feelings/emotions got the best of me. Thank goodness I have wonderful friends and family to rely on to pick me back up.

I hope the weekend treated everyone well!
Happy Mother's Day to all those mothers out there!

5-3-10

Just a quick note to say that I am doing well and glad to be at work. I look forward to a good week with no problems.

5-1-10

The weekend is here and I am limited at this point to resting. Last night Adam and I went to catch a movie. I wasn't feeling the best but really wanted to get out. After the movie I just wasn't feeling any better and after checking my temp I realized I had spiked a temp. We monitored it all night and luckily didn't have to make a trip to the ER.

So today I will be resting and praying temp returns back to normal.

4-29-10

One more day until the weekend and I look forward to being pain free. It is amazing how these body aches travel in waives and leave behind varies levels of pain. The pain has been bearable today, however at times very discomforting. I am proud to say I have not had to take any pain meds this week and I don't plan on it. I think it is a pride thing....

Everyone have a wonderful weekend and enjoy some R&R.

4-28-10

My one wish this week, no body aches. Well unfortunately it did not come true. They are right on time starting last night and continuing today. If my memory serves me correctly they should decrease tomorrow and I will start to feel better. I keep telling myself only 2 more treatments and the side effects will be gone. At least the major side effects.

4-26-10

Chemo #6 down and what an experience. First off the nurse couldn't get my port to work to access blood. She had the needle in, however it wouldn't give any blood. So she had to stick me two different places on my arm to draw blood the regular way. With one of the medicines they gave me, my port was working by the time I was ready for chemo.

Secondly, my appointment ran behind an hour half behind, which put my chemo an hour and half behind. Thirdly, this time I had a reaction to the Taxol. It was a very quick reaction and a little scary, however the nurses came over fast and fixed the issue with meds.

All in all a very long day but I am glad I had my step mom Susan here to ease the stress and pain. It was great to catch up and enjoy good company.

Feeling drained and ready for bed!

4-22-10

Recovery week is still going well. I am happy to say I have been able to exercise this week and do a little extra with the help of my co-workers. They have pushed me to start doing the stairs two times a day. Keep in mind we work on the 10th floor and let me tell you it is a workout.

So thank you ladies we will continue to tone our legs and butt at work....

4-20-10

Recovery week is here. Feeling pretty good just very tired. Hoping to find energy after work to get to the gym. Looking forward the enjoying the weather this weekend.

Hope everyone is having a great day!

4-18-10

What an amazing weekend. I can't even begin to explain the wonderful joy I felt this weekend.

Team Rock Pink was a great hit at the race and I want to thank all of my friends and family who came to support me. I have never had a team created for me before so it was a honor and I know a lot money was donated to a good cause, so thank you to all. I also want to thank the great team from Harrison that walked for me as well! I am blessed to have such a great work family as well.

I was not sure I would be able to make the 3 mile walk but I did. It took a lot out of me and did require a nap later in the afternoon, but it was blessing to energy and strength to participate in the race.

The party was just what I needed. It was great to catch up with everyone and enjoy good food, music, weather, and company. I will be honest, I have never had so many people step up to ask what they can do to help. I am usually the type of person to try and do it all on my own and not ask for help. But I know the party was the way people wanted to help and it did. We all know how stressful this has all been for me and now I can say a lot of that has been lifted through my family and friends. What great friends I have. Words can't explain what this weekend and my friends and family mean to me.

A special thank you needs to go out to Joe's Butcher Shop for donating the meat for the party. They have the best meat in the area, hands down. Visit them at http://joesbutchershop.com/

Also another big thank you to Randall Trumbull at Tees for donating and making such fantastic shirts! Everyone was able to Rock Pink!!! Visit Tees at http://tees.randalltrumbull.com/

4-15-10

Today is much better. The body aches have decreased and seem to be allowing me to manage. I pray for a great weekend and some fun with all the festivities. I know the weather will be a little cool, however I am looking forward to seeing everyone and participating in such an important event.

A quick fun note, I was asked to do a short interview via phone for WIBC Radio tomorrow morning. I am excited and honored they would ask me to share my story.


Oh and by the way, Randall the shirts are awesome. Thank you so much for donating your time and services to a great cause.

Marianne and Steve thank you for allowing us to use your home. I am looking forward to the party and your place will be perfect. And an early thanks to all of Adam's friends for putting the party together. Words can't describe what it means to me and how blessed I feel to have you all as friends.

4-14-10

Side effects are here...boo... The body aches started last night and are hitting me hard today. Not sure how long they will last but praying they will be gone by the weekend. I can handle being tired but the body aches are the worst. It makes it hard to do much of anything.

Tomorrow is a new day and it can only get better right?

4-12-10

So another round of chemo done. Taxol went fine. No reactions at all just a long process. Feeling good thus far, just tired from all the benadryl they give you. Praying for a good week and less side effects from the drug.

Dad and Sue thanks for coming today. I know it might have been a little boring for you two, however it was good company for me. Well when I was awake..ha ha

Keep you all posted on how the week goes.

4-10-10

Finally relaxing after being busy. With work, enjoying the weather, and exercise I have loved these last few days. Dinner last night was great and we will be doing dinner with some friends tonight as well.

My dad and Sue will be in town tomorrow night for dinner and chemo on Monday.Very glad they are taking me as I am not sure how I will react to the new round of Taxol.

Also looking forward to my sister being in town next week. I miss her a lot and can't wait to catch up.

04-09-10

It is Friday and a great day! Yesterday and today have treated me well, the weekend should too.
Tonight I am taking Adam out for a celebration dinner. Adam has was offered a great position with Prudential as a Financial Advisor. He gladly excepted and will officially start in about a week.

I am extremely happy for Adam and feel this is a great fit that will bring success and happiness to him and us in the future. Very proud of you babe!

Everyone have a great weekend and enjoy the sunshine.

04-06-10

Out of the hospital....Yay!!!! My WBC was good and Dr gave the ok to go. I have never been so happy to be home. Although Clarian North is a wonderful hospital and the nurses were amazing, I couldn't take one more day trapped. It is crazy what little things I realized I take for granted and never will again as in taking a shower, using the restroom without restrictions, and being able to move my arm. All little things that I promise I will cherish moving forward.

Thanks for every one's encouraging words and prayers. All the positive energy got me home and is allowing me to heal.

04/05/2010

Well still in hosp..boo... I was hoping to be out by now but that is not the case. Although my temp is normal and I am feeling much better, my WBC is still very low. My Dr. said he would like it increase before I can leave. So praying for that to happen tomorrow.

Happy Easter

It is Easter and I would love to be with my family enjoying the day, however I am at the hospital for a little stay. As most of you know yesterday I woke up with tons of pain in my head/jaw and was in bed all day. Then about 4 am this morning I woke with a fever, so we headed to ER. After looking at my WBC the DR. decided it would be best to admit me to monitor my counts and my fever. At first I was not loving that idea, however glad I did as my pain is still pretty high and they have the meds...ha ha

My dad and Sue are driving over from Ohio tonight to see us for Easter. Of course Adam is here toughing Easter out with me at the hosp. Oh when will Normal happen again?

04-03-2010

Well I guess I spoke too soon when I said I have yet to have a day when I can't really get out of bed. Oh that day is here unfortunately. Last night was a night of severe pain and continued to today. The worst is the pain in my mouth/jaw. It feels like someone is just pulling on my gums with rubber bands. I definitely have taken pain meds and am trying to get some rest.

I do pray this passes as it has been very rough on me.

Just needed to vent.....

04-02-2010

Good Friday and I am off work. The weather is gorgeous and warm and I am going to do my best to get out in it, however today might be rough for that. Don't sleep much these days and hate these body aches, but mind over matter right?

I want to thank all of you for the kind words/emails/comments regarding the article. You all inspire me on a daily basis and keep my pressing forward. I know this is a fight, however I have a lot to fight for and I am reminded that on a daily basis thanks to all of you.

Love,
Jess
Happy Easter Weekend!

04-01-10

April 1st and the Article is out. If you would like to see it online, click the link below. My story is in there as well.

http://bit.ly/dya5k0

What a good lift to a not so hot day!

3-30-10

Tuesday suns out and I am going to try and get out for a walk. Not feeling the best at all but need to get my blood pumping.

Here is the website to the Indianapolis Women's Magazine: http://indianapoliswoman.com/index.html

All you have to do is open the website and click where is says 04/2010 In This Issue. There you can view the picture/article/ and magazine online.

It will not be out until Friday but it could take longer.

Hope you all enjoy!!!

3-29-10

Halfway done with Chemo..YAY! And everything still looks positive!

I am so thankful that Lindsay and her mom came all the way from Ohio early this morning to take me to Chemo. It was definitely entertaining and I needed the laughs. I am glad we all got to catch up. It felt like home and having family around.


Hopefully this week will be tolerable and allow for me to get out and enjoy the great weather ahead.

3-27-10

Oh I love days like this when I am able to get a lot done and enjoy the weather. I even was able to get to the gym. Dreading Monday but excited my friend Lindsay and her Mom are coming all the way from Ohio to take me to Chemo. It will be good to catch up.

So I have some good news that I can't wait to share. Indianapolis Women's Magazine is doing an article on women battling breast cancer who are receiving treatment at the I.U. Simon Center. My amazing Chemo nurse (Danielle) recommended me and I was chosen as one of the women they wanted to do an article on for the April issue. The best news is, I was also chosen to be the cover of their April issue. I can't explain how blessed I feel to have this opportunity to share my story and educate other women in anyway.

Not sure yet how people can go about getting the magazine, but online is always an option.

Here is a picture from after the photo shoot but with my makeup still on. A lady from Mac came to do my makeup and did an excellent job.

3-25-10

Well Recovery Week is great although last night Adam and I did make a short trip to the ER. At the end of the work day I noticed my legs and feet were very swollen and uncomfortable. After checking in with the on call Oncologists, he recommended to get it checked out to make sure there were no blood clots. Luckily it was a short trip and everything was fine. Just another fun Thursday evening for Adam and I ...ha ha.

Looking forward to having dinner tonight with Adam's family and Jennifer. I know I can always count on laughs and entertainment with the Fair family.

3-23-10 #2

I have to vent a bit about the gym. I am so grateful Adam and I went, and I was even able to do 20 minutes of cardio and do a little lifting. However, I expect more from myself. I am trying to start slow, but I realize mind over mind can kick in and get me to my 40 minutes I was used to doing. Although, I want to be smart about my workouts and my body. How do I win?

I do want to say thank you to my big SIS who always has the right things to say and sent great vibes and kind words via text today. Without your strength, guidance, and Love, I would not be the person I am today. I love you, and I know you always have my back. Thanks!

3-23-10

Just a quick note that recovery week is great. Loving these days and feeling normal..YaY!...My goal is to get to the gym after work today. Looking forward to it.

Thanks to all of you for supporting me last week! It helps me stay focused to get to these great weeks! Also thanks to my co-workers. You all make work fun and enjoyable and I always get my laughs when I need to.

3-21-10

After being able to get out yesterday, I was hoping for a great day today, but no. I had a rough night not sleeping and fighting a terrible migraine. I was stubborn and didn't want to take the Vicodin I needed to, but finally had to this morning. I couldn't bare the pain anymore.

Very sad we had to miss church this morning and just feeling down and out.

Tomorrow has to be better...I am over this week.....

3-20-10

Chemo is kicking my butt this week, however Adam got me out for a long walk today. I was determined to get some fresh air, and we ended up walking around 3 miles. It felt great to get out even in some pain. I wish tomorrow's weather would bring the same, but it looks like rain and cold are on the way.

Hope everyone can get out today for some fresh air.

3-18-10

I am loving the sun today,unfortunately still feeling kind down and out. Only a few days away from recovery week and the weather man has promised me some good days next week so I will take them.

Thanks for all recent phone calls from my H.S. Field Hockey girls. I promise I will get back to you all. If you could email me your phone number's so I can contact you. I would love to catch up.

3-17-10

The weather was gorgeous today, however I was not able to enjoy as I wanted. For some reason today I was very tired and nausea. Had to take my nausea medicine which does not help with my drowsiness.

I am hoping for a good day tomorrow and maybe some time outside.

3-15-10

Another round of Chemo completed successfully. When doing his examination,
Dr. Schneider said he could barely even feel the mass to measure. He said I am responding very well to Chemo as the mass continues to shrink. So I was extremely happy to hear that.

Resting this evening as I am not feeling the best. It could be worse though and I know tomorrow will be a better day.

Hope everyone had a good Monday!

Thanks Liz for going today. I know it was hard for you to be back in a hospital experiencing all of that, but your a great friend and you did it for me. I needed that so thank you.

3-14-10

I had to blog about our great experience at church today. Our good friends Jess & John stayed very persistent in asking us to attend service and we finally we able to. The sermon for the day really hit home and it was exactly what I needed. Adam and I both loved the church and will be going back for sure.

So thank Jess & John and we will definitely see you at church again soon.

3-13-10

Today was another great day besides the weather. I was able to do a few hours at work, and Adam & I went to see Alice in Wonderland in 3D. I Love these great days where I feel normal.

I wanted to say thanks for all of the wonderful comments regarding my shaved head. It helps me so much to have the support and remain confident while looking different.

3-11-10

So tonight I had Adam shave the rest of my head. I was tired of the itching and hurting of the buzzed look. Surprisingly when I looked in the mirror this time, it wasn't that bad. I think I actually can rock a shaved head. That's a good feeling.

3-10-10

Today was such a wonderful day. Work was great, I felt so good, and Adam and I even got out for an evening walk. And to top it off I got a wonderful card and small gift from my dear friend Liz.

I know tomorrow will be just as good.

3-9-10

I was hoping after I left my Reconstructive Surgeon's office today, I would feel relieved that something would be easy or even simple in this whole journey, however no. Let's just say I have two options to choose from regarding surgery.

Option #1 Tissue Expansion: After breast is removed, a tissue expander(basically an implant with nothing in it) is placed under the chest muscle. Over the months saline is injected little by little through a port. AS the expander fills up, the skin and Muscle in the chest stretch out to create a pocket. Another procedure would be done to remove the expander and put the actual implant in. This would all happen over a 6 month time frame. Good thing regarding this option is, the initial surgery would only take about 2 hours and recovery time is 2 weeks.

Option #2 Diep Flap: A small incision along the bikini line is made and the necessary skin, fat,and tiny blood vessels are removed from the stomach area. The fat and skin are shaped into natural looking breasts and sewn into place. The tiny blood vessels that feed the tissue of the new breasts are matched to supplying blood vessels in your chest and reattached under a microscope. The procedure usually takes 8-10 hours and recovery time is 4-6 weeks.

There are obvious risks to both procedures and much more questions that need to be asked. Both procedures would require multiple surgeries regardless. Luckily I don't have to make a decision for awhile and will have time to do more research on both options.

I realize that I have painted a detailed description on how these procedures would work. However to me this is much easier than trying to explain in person or via phone. This blog is perfect in relaying what I would like to tell you all but probably don't get a chance to.

I will keep you all posted on what I decide to do.

Thanks for listening.....

3-7-10

What a difference a day makes. Temperature finally back to normal and feeling much better. Adam and I were actually able to get out for a bit to do some errands. I wish I would have been up for taking a walk in this gorgeous weather, but maybe this week. Just glad to report no fever and recovery week is here....YEAH!

I meet with my plastic surgeon tomorrow morning to go over surgery and my options. I am definitely eager to find out how all of this will work, although I have been informed it will probably be multiple surgeries...boo..

Until tomorrow....

3-6-10

Friday night 5 am and of course my body wants to spike a fever. This is what I had dreaded but was told it could happen. After monitoring and talking to my Oncologists he suggested Adam and I head to the ER for some testing. So we spent most of Saturday morning/afternoon getting tests done. All labs came back ok and white blood cell count good. So no infection, my body just hates me today...ha ha.

Resting now and sad I missed a gorgeous day outside. Hopefully the evening will be in my favor and tomorrow as well.

3-5-10

Friday night of Chemo week and the body aches have started. Not too bad yet, however looking forward to Monday and recovery week as I like to call it. Braving the storm alone tonight. Adam is out with the band and getting some well deserved time away. With the last 24 hours he has had, I am glad he has the band to get away to. I must say I am so thankful I have him to lean on at all times. I couldn't imagine doing this alone, especially through these rough weeks.

Well I hope this Friday night finds all of you doing something relaxing and fun. The weather this weekend looks very mild here in Indiana, so maybe all of us should get out tomorrow and enjoy.

3-3-10

As I sit here in tears I am not crying because this disease is taking control. These are tears of pride and joy. I took control of this disease today! After a long day at work, tired as heck, I made myself go to the gym to get on my favorite machine (cybex) for 30 minutes of cardio (recommended by my doctor to keep blood flowing and prevent blood clots). For that 30 minutes I felt in control and empowered. I felt like myself again and realized I am not going to miss out on my passions or my small joys of happiness in life because I have cancer. Not today, not ever!

So with that I say to all of you that are listening: If you had a bad day or even received some bad news today, please take 30 minutes for yourself. Take control over the situation and when you are done remember to smile!
Love you all....thanks for following me!

3-2-10

Just a quick blog to say the day went great. I felt great at work today and looking forward to hopefully another good day tomorrow.

Stay tuned......

Here is a picture of me with one of my many new scarves that people have so kindly given to me! You all rock!

3-1-10

Sitting here at chemo relaxing and talking with Julie. It's nice to have time to catch up and laugh about old times. She is a dear friend and always looks out for me.

Chemo is going great. The access to the port was easy and pain free...yeah....
I did receive some good/bad news today. My BRCA test came back positive so I do have the gene for hereditary breast/ovarian cancer. Which basically means I have a 75% chance of the cancer coming back in my second breast. And a 40% chance of it coming back in my ovaries. However I can have a double mastectomy and reduce the chances of it reoccurring in my left breast by 90%. With regards to my ovaries, they suggest I stay proactive with tests yearly and look more at my options when I am 40.

Now for the good news....my tumor has shrunk in size and is much softer...what that means is the chemo is working...YEAH.... My doctors seemed very please with my progress and reaction to chemo.

So all in all a good day thus far....

2-28-10

Today, I took on the challenge of cutting my hair off before it decides to take control over me. I had a handful of my closest friends over to help ease the pain. It was a very emotional day and I would say the reality that I have cancer finally set in as it might have for some of you too. Every time I look in the mirror I see a totally different woman than before. As stupid as it sounds, I always put pride in my hair and looks, and now I feel like that is all out the window.

However, I keep reminding myself of the kind words that were said today. I was able to find the courage to cut my hair because of all of you ladies and those who could not make it today as well. Your strength and friendships made me realize I can do this and make it work for me. I thank you all for being amazing friends and taking on this journey with me. I know it was not easy for all of you to see me upset and facing this challenge. But we got through it and will continue to.


Also I would like to say thank you to all of you out there that have sent thoughtful messages and prayers. I am amazed at the support that has come through. I didn't know that I had that many followers/fans. Thank you and please continue to guide me through this journey.

I love you all!


P.S. All of the scarves are perfect and will help tremendously. And to Adam thank you for the plethora of hoop earring's. My outfits will now be complete. I love you!








My new wig that my sister bought for me!

2-27-10

Well it is 4am and yes I am up. My stomach felt the need to wake me for some quality time in the bathroom...Oh the joy....I also am trying to time taking my medications correctly in the day so I won't be up in the night. I guess I have not gotten it correct yet.

So I told Adam I had to blog about this, but last night I was all excited for movie night. He came home with two good movies, or so we thought. Lets just say the movie "Everbody's Fine", while a good movie with a good cast, was not the comedy we were hoping for. It was more tears for me then laughter...The second movie was not even opened. We read the reviews again and thought maybe not tonight.

Oh well another day tomorrow with family on the way to visit....

2-26-10

While I am sitting here at work and getting through the day, I just had a moment of clarification. I woke up feeling very good and ready to take on the day. Now almost five hours later I feel pretty crappy. I realized my small intake of a piece of banana bread and apple sauce this morning contains those sugar that kill my body. It literally will take me from feeling great to needing to lay down in no time. I didn't think to myself, those food items have sugar in them. I was thinking, I need some fruit and applesauce would be good...oh so wrong. The bad thing is my stomach does not do well with sugar free items or even gluten free items. So how do I win? Saltine crackers I guess. They say I will live on them.

But with that said I am going to make it though the day here and rest tonight. I am looking forward to a low key night with Adam. Maybe we will take in a good chick flick...ha ha...I am sure he will love that.

2-24-10

10:30 pm on Wednesday night and I should be asleep, however deciding to blog instead. Today was a very good day. Made it through the entire day of work with no problems. Not much sleep these days so by 5 pm I was done. It seems energy just leaves my body and tells me to stop. I guess it is a good thing I am trying to listen to my body. I am praying for some good sleep tonight and another decent day as well. It seems this weekend should be a good one with family and friend's stopping by, however it puts me one step closer to Monday and chemo. With positivity in mind, it is one step closer to the finish line.(a dear friend reminded me of that recently).

2-23-10

Today is only Tuesday and feeling a little defeated. I had every intention to make it a full day at work and was feeling great. However with too much medicine in my system, probably a little dehydration, and major constipation I ended up with severe pain/cramping, a dead sweat, and almost passed out at work. Luckily I have great co-workers that helped and got me back on my feet. I am feeling ok now but I am sure I will be visiting the facilities a lot today.. Sorry for the graphic details and information but I needed to vent and that is what this blog is for..right...Tomorrow is a new day....

2-20-10

It's 11:21 PM Saturday night and oh how late it feels. Although the day has just dragged, I was able to get up and out to the office for a few hours this morning which was nice. However after working and running a few quick errands, I was done energy wise. But with good company, and chick flick movies, I made it through.
I will say the body aches are everywhere now which makes me very uncomfortable and anxious. I really need to try and do some light walking, however my breathing does not seem to agree with that.

Let's pray for a better day tomorrow with more energy and activity.

2-19-10

Friday night and I should be out having dinner or maybe even drinks with friends, however at home and resting. Oh well soon enough I will be out and about again. Today was a pretty similar day to the others. Lack of energy, headaches, and body aches. Hot baths do seem to help with the body aches.

Tomorrow I am making Adam get out and have night away with his band. He will be doing sound for them as he usually does, but has had to put them on the back burner for me recently. His parents have been gracious enough to volunteer to take care of me over night and help him move over the weekend. Luckily I get out of having to help move...yes... I plan to due some work at the office tomorrow, praying for another good day.

2-18-10

Two days at work and very tired. Who knew that I would barely be able to keep my eyes open at my desk. I am good to get in 6 hours a day, then I am out. I basically come home and sleep. So far only a few headaches and body aches. The worst thus far is the lack of energy...I feel 80...ha ha although I pretty sure my 88 year old Grandpa has more energy than I have now.

Good news, the Lymph Node biopsy came back negative, so no cancer has spread.....Woooooa..I am so thankful to hear this news.
So tomorrow a new day and hopefully another decent one. I want to thank all of my friends/family/and co-workers for all of the support thus far. I am very humbled to see all of you go out of your way for myself, Adam, and my family. Thank you and please know a good deed never goes unnoticed. Everyone should sign-up for our Komen Race for the Cure team, Rock Pink for Jess, at http://race.komenindy.org/goto/RockPinkforJess If you cant make it out for the actual event, you can donate, or participate as a “Sleep In for the Cure”.

2-16-10

One round of Chemo done.....wooooaaa....and it wasn't that bad. The hardest part was having the nurse touching the port and area around the port, due to it not healing all the way. Moving forward it will not be that bad. Chemo itself was very painless, however time consuming. Each time I have chemo they have to check all of my vitals and draw blood. If all comes back ok, then we are good to proceed with chemo. Everyone at the Infusion Center were very kind and gracious and provided lots of goody snacks to munch on for me and my guests..And yes the rumor of Popsicles is true, this helps keep the mouth cold which is good chemistry for one of the drugs.

So everyone take a sigh of relief, as I have, Chemo was ok. Of course the road ahead will be rough but I am ready, well as much as I can be. I have tons of directions to follow and many meds to take to help with all of the side effects. Heather took amazing notes and passed along all the info to Adam . I am good hands and glad I am at home and doing ok.

2-15-10 Update

Well it is 8:30 pm Monday night and let's just say I am glad to be at home resting. A very long day at the hospital with many tests and follow up from doctors. Thus far all tests/scans came back clean, however there was a small biopsy done today on an abnormal lymph node. The outcome of the biopsy only determines whether or not they remove the lymph nodes at surgery after chemo.

Chemo starts tomorrow as the doctors did not want to waste any time. We have a chemo class tomorrow at 9 am and then chemo at 10:30am. They did say it would take most of the day and be another long day.

Although I am a bit nervous, I am staying positive and looking forward to starting my healing process, and cant wait to get back to work and my normal life!

Now a word from Adam....
My weird things from the day at the hospital: How in the world do hospitals operate using pagers, yet no cell phones work? Also, who would ever guess that during chemo the doctors actually tell you that you can't eat salad, fruit, or vegetables (uncooked)? All you ever hear is how important fruits and vegetables are, but apparently they are also a germ concern during chemo. I'm nervous for Jess to begin the chemo because for me it makes what seems surreal a reality. I do however have faith that she will prevail in 5 months, and look forward to that celebration!

2-15-10

The waiting game at the hospital, oh what fun. One test down(MRI) and two more to go today, bone scan and ultra sound. At 12 we meet with the doctors to go over all tests this past week to clarify the treatments moving forward.

On a brighter side, I received a wonderful gift from Adam yesterday, a Netbook computer. Basically a smaller version computer I can take everywhere to get on email and internet. I love it and of course it is pink... It is already coming in handy to pass time and stay up to date on things.

2-13-10 Valentine's Eve

While it is very late and I am on much needed pain medicine, I wanted to say what a good day today has been. I was blessed with friends and family visitors and tons of great food. I will say I actually had an appetite for the first time this week and enjoyed all the great food.

Thank you to those who stopped by and all the left overs Adam and I can enjoy this week. Off to bed for some much needed rest.

2-12-10 Surgery

Surgery went well...Yeah!!! At home now and resting...In a little pain but still have all the meds in my system to numb the pain. They did give me pain medicine that I will be taking here shortly and heading to bed. The nurses and doctors were wonderful and took very good care of me.

My doctor(Dr. Rager) who did the procedure, gave us some good news today. The CT Scan done on Tuesday to check my Abdomen, Pelvis, and Lungs came back clear. So one down and a few more to go.

Thank you to all who emailed or text today. The support was needed and got me through everything OK.

2-11-10

The night before my first surgery. Tomorrow I will have a Port A Cath put in for chemotherapy. They gave me the option to have it put in above my right breast or under my right arm pit. I have chosen to do my right arm pit to avoid a visible scar.

I will say I am little nervous about the procedure. Although it is minor and will only take an hour, I don't think it will be fun...lol...To get my mind off of things today, Heather and I went shopping to find myself a cute sweat outfit to wear. So to say the least, I am trying to be cute at all times tomorrow....

Original Email 2-8-10

Family and friends,
Most of you already know about the battle that I am beginning with breast cancer. I will try to update all of you as I learn more about my specific battle, and for now think that email might be the best way to give updates. I am looking into other options that would be similar to a blog, and will let you all know what I find.

To help catch some of you up, I will give you some background. Last week, I met with my doctor to review the results of a biopsy that was performed two weeks ago on a lump in my breast. Unfortunately, I was informed that I have breast cancer, but at that time I had very little detail. I had an appointment today to meet with my surgical and oncology teams, and found out more detail.

With the knowledge of the current tests, I have stage 2 triple-negative invasive ductal carcinoma. This week, I will be undergoing many tests to see if the cancer has spread to any other areas. On Friday, I will have a small surgery for a port to be installed, which will be utilized for chemotherapy. This coming Monday, I will meet with my doctors again to go over the details of the tests that are run this week.

For know the plan is chemo for 16 weeks with 8 treatments. The exact form of surgery after the chemo is still to be determined. The surgery will vary depending on the genetics tests that they are running over the next few weeks.

I'll let you know more, as I find out.

Love you all,
Jess

P.S. Adam will be helping me keep you all up-to-date with these emails. He's translating "Jessica talk" into emails. If you find errors with grammar, please make sure to give him a hard time!